Checking In...

It's been a while since I've written. Though I don't really have a topic to talk about thought I'd update on several issues.

Noah's arm is healing. He had his follow up appt. today with the orthopedist. Kevin took him, he said it's stiff still. But to just take it easy and it'll work itself back to normal. So we just have to keep an eye on him.

I started my antidepressants again. This week reminds me of the side effects that I don't like. It makes me really sleepy and I feel checked out. I know those symptoms will wear off so I just have to put up with them for a few weeks. I made an appointment with the psychiatrist to talk about changing my medication. It takes forever to get in, it's in November. Good thing I'm not having a crisis. Then I made an appointment(in oct.) with the psychologist that did my pre-surgery evaluation. I really liked him, so I'm going to switch to him. He asked how the weight loss was going. I told him great, but I wanted to check in with him, to talk about the non-food issues.

I lost another 2 lbs this week. It feels really good. I'm almost surprised that this is still working. I think 40lbs. is the most I've ever lost on a diet. So I guess I'm just expecting to plateau about now. In the past this would make me give up on the diet. I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't just any other diet. This is really about changing my life. And thankfully the band won't let me give up.

My body is really starting to change, some bones are getting close to the surface in my upper chest. My clavicles may show again soon!!! I took my measurements yesterday I wish I would have done that sooner, because I know I've lost lots of inches. But at least I can keep track from now on. The toning routine is getting to be a little too much. I'm up to 25 reps and it takes a long time. I think I'll scale it down to every other day. Or just do it on the days that I don't do yoga. Since it's the best toning routine around.

The Perfect Storm

That was the weirdest weather I have ever been in. The wind kind of reminded me of Oklahoma dust storms, minus the big red cloud. We were one of the lucky ones in Cincinnati only lost power for a couple of hours Sunday afternoon. But 90% of Cincinnati was without power. My work closed early yesterday, work the am without power. The boys had no school yesterday and it is cancelled again today. Made me realize how spoiled we are. I was upset because I didn't have Internet access. I really rely on it. I needed to call a few places and I had thrown out all my phonebooks in the last cleaning frenzy because I just look things up online. I also missed updating my blog and checking for comments. Glad to be online again...and expect everything else to be back to normal soon. The picture is of the house in Mt. Heatlhy where a woman was killed by her tree. We were so thankful that we had cut down that old pine tree!

On another note...I stopped taking my antidepressants about 2 months ago. I wanted a break to see if my exercise routine, weight loss had restarted my own serotonin production. I was tired of the side effects, loss of libido, the numbing of emotion, etc. I was doing great for a while but the last 2 weeks I noticed my temper was shortening, starting to have sleep issues, losing motivation. This weekend I didn't want to exercise and wanted to sleep more. So all that said I decided I need the medication. I started it back up now while I still feel level headed and could make a good decision about it. Maybe I'll give it a try another time.

Elephant in the Room

Went to support group tonight. Every time I go I learn something new about the band and food. So that's good. Got some new ideas of things to add to my diet that is band friendly and high in protein. Chili, canned salmon, a great recipe for a crust less cheesecake. We had a pot luck. It it really interesting to watch people at these events around food. The big bosses are there, the nurses, the drs. Everyone is really hesitant. We went around the room and talked about our "go to" food and the food we miss the most. I have to tell you I miss pizza the most and I do rarely eat it, cause it makes me sick. But most people said ice cream. And that is a food that is really easy to go down, but not good for you. Most of the people in the room are or were food addicts. And no one admitted that they still eat ice cream. Up until about May I was still eating ice cream. Sometimes once a day. Now I've gotten down to less than once a week. We don't keep it in the house, so it's only when we go out. Holding in the truth I think just leads to shame. So I'm saying it. I eat ice cream and I plan on still eating it even while I lose weight. I think if I deny myself I'll just eat everything else I can get my hands on. I know I will because I've done it on other diets. Now, that said I'm not going to sabotage the band and eat it everyday, so I'm using some will power. But this isn't a diet...I'm changing my life style so ice cream will be rare but there is no benefit to being dishonest about being perfect all the time. OK enough of that.

I did get a slight fill .3cc. I'm up to 11.8 now. I have great restriction during the day but can eat too much in the evening. Last night I was able to eat a chili dog with the bun. So I'm learning if I can eat bread that's a red flag that I'm not adjusted properly. Hopefully I can eat during the day tomorrow. I was down 4lb. by their scale in two weeks so I'm right on track.

WARNING

I admit it I have chin hairs. I buy waxing strips and take care of it about once a month. The last kit I bought I noticed they did have eyebrow size strips. My eyebrows don't grow thick but they grow wide, halfway down my lid. It had been months since I did anything about them. I was too embarrassed to go get them professionally waxed. So I thought I can do this. I did my right eye, on the left as you look at the picture and it turned out really well, reduced the wideness. Then I put he left strip on and new it was up to high, but once you do it, it too late to readjust. I pulled the strip, looked at the amount of hair on it and new I had over shot. There is a bald spot. I was too afraid to try to make the other one match, so I'm just going to go around uneven until they grow back. And then I guess I'll have to go to a professional again. So if you do this make sure you have good lighting,good vision and good aim.

Noah's arm

Went to Orthopedic Dr. this am. He took off the splint, manipulated his arm, with the gentle touch that surgeons are known for..not. Noah took it well, his arm is bruised and still swollen. The Dr. said he didn't see anything but the swelling on the Xray that I brought from the ER. Concurred that there probably is a non displaced "crack" or hairline fracture. He instructed us to keep it in the sling for a week, immobilized and see if it improves. If not re xray, and cast if a fracture shows after swelling is gone. Since he's young it should heal fast. I think he would do better with a cast, forced immobilization, but it's only a week so he should survive. The sling keeps it hugged up to his body, with his hand inside the sling..so he gets a reprieve from writing for now. I suggested he try his left hand but he didn't like that plan. I'll add a picture later.

Updates

I did not get invited to sing with Muse, which I expected. I am still going to volunteer to be on the production crew and participate in their activism events. I'm totally fine with it, and it was still a good experience. They did invite me to sing in the co-ed Freedom Singers that the Muse director directs. I'm going to get more information and check it out. It's a choir that meets at the Freedom Center downtown.

Noah seems better today, was up several times during the night but is playing like normal today. He has found out the sling is a great place to stash his favorite little toys..."like a big pocket."

Noah plus tree equals ER

My little Noah has been climbing trees since he was 2...he's quite agile and has managed until today to avoid injury. We had our 50ft. pine tree cut down because it was dead and the branches were brittle. I was afraid someone would fall and get hurt. But Noah found another tree at Momadu and Allisane's house. They all came running to get me saying Noah "crunched his arm" Noah was sobbing. So we headed to the ER after I quickly noticed his elbow was swelling and Noah was in real pain. He cried all the way to the hospital he said I "can't stand the pressure." The xray(not the one attached) shows a lot of blood and tissue swelling at the elbow joint. The Dr. said there is no obvious fracture but the swelling indicates there is probably at least a crack in the elbow joint itself or the where the radius enters the joint. So they splinted it and we'll have to wait until Monday to see an Orthopedic dr. to get it casted. It is his right arm so we'll have to see how school goes, etc. He's fine now...propped up on my side of the bed eating chicken nuggets. I figured a trip to the ER warrented some chicken nuggets. I'll keep you posted.

The Muse

I auditioned for The Muse today. It's an all women's choir here in Cincinnati. I did OK but I don't think I have the talent to get in. I sang Cyndi Lauper's Time after Time. I really just wanted to try out as a way to broaden my social circle. They combine music with social justice, this really intrigues me and is maybe more exciting then the actual singing. I hope to at least be invited into their "5th section" which is the volunteer support staff. I met some really interesting people. One woman recognized my tattoo as an Adinkra symbol and said she had 5 on her back. No one has ever recognized my tattoo, so I felt instantly bonded! I'll hear tomorrow if I made it and let you know.

www.musechoir.org

Getting Stronger

I did my first back bend in about 30 years today in Yoga!!! I think the extra toning exercises I'm doing at night are starting to really strengthen my arms and core. I'm a little discouraged about not losing this last week. But I know this is a long haul and a slow week here and there is OK. The overall goal will still be reached, just have to keep striving. In the chat room for my surgeons office the patients often talk about scale victories and non-scale victories. (For the longest time I had no idea what they were talking about because they said SV and NSV, I finally asked.) So when the scale isn't moving as fast as I'd like, I'm going to focus on the non-scale victories. So today my NSV is a yoga back bend. That's lifting nearly 294.5 pounds up with most of the weight on my shoulders!! So I'm proud of myself for not giving up on exercise and eating right most of the time. Monday I have support group and I'll see the Dr. too, I think I need a fill. I've been able to eat too much in the evening and a little bread which shouldn't be happening when I'm properly filled. I was trying to just use will power because if I'm at the right spot in the evening I'm afraid it'll be harder to eat in at breakfast and lunch(because it losens up as day goes on due to water retention etc. But I need to let the band work for me, so it's probably time for a slight fill. I also have been avoiding it because my port is tilted and it's not quite as painless as it used to be to get a fill. Thanks for reading, talk later.

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