The pics tell it all...

I have planned and wrapped and budgeted my brains out for months and it was over soooo quick. The boys are happy and entertained at present. We'll see how long that last. Because of church and travel plans, we usually open on Christmas Eve. This year they nagged me into opening at 3pm. I remember doing the same so I guess it's o.k.

Merry Christmas to ALL!!

Pics from Kevin's Grad...Dayton Trip

Rev. Dr. Kevin Howard Orr

On December 19th, Kevin officially became a Dr. the boys and I made it for most of the service. They didn't understand the true scope but they hung in there. Noah at one point asked if he could blow out the candles. We were at a Catholic church, so I told him that could mess up someones prayers. Noah also saw Daddy kiss some woman during the service. He looked at me and said "ohhhh Daddy's in trouble". As they processed out Noah ran right up to Kevin and told him that mommy's was going to slap him in the face for kissing that woman!!

My dream of being married to a Dr. finally came true!!!! Seriously it was a lot of work and I'm very proud!!

Afterwards I drove the boys to my two childhood homes...that was fun. Above are more pictures. The house is 6310 Shadowlake Dr. my home for 10yrs. to 15yrs old.

I'm OK

Just a quick note because I can't leave that blah post hanging out there. I'm starting to feel a little better or at least neutral. I'm not sure this antidepressant is going to work because the Dr. said to increase my dose but when I tried my BP went up and headaches started. So since my BP was fine on the lower dose I'm going to try to hold it out here for a few weeks and see if it works. If not I'll have to move on to something else.

On the other hand, Micah is doing GREAT. His new antidepressant has brought smiles back to his face and he seems more like himself.

I'm pretty much ready for Christmas, a little more wrapping to do and then the big day.

Blah blah

Just a quick update because I could use some positive vibes sent my way. Weaned off my old antidepressant this week and started the new one. Good news is it hasn't effected my blood pressure and have a little more energy, don't want to sleep all the time. But since I'm not up to full effectiveness on the new one, I'm feeling really depressed. Cried a lot today, feel irritable and overwhelmed.

Micah is feeling about the same as me. Got a one day suspension today for ripping up a paper and calling his science teacher the "B" word. He admits the paper, but swears he did not say the word that got him suspended. I tend to believe him as he seems to only be getting in real trouble with this teacher that he only is with 45min a day. I had a discussion with the principal, asking again for some support from the school system instead of just punishments, but feel like I'm beating my head up against the wall. So we'll be having some meetings soon I hope. Last spring we did all this testing and had meetings that got us nowhere. They said yes he has ADD, ODD, depression but since it isn't effecting him at school we don't need to do anything. I reminded the principal of this conversation and said now that it is effecting him at school something needs to be done. He says the punishments etc. would be the same even with some accommodation, so what good is that going to do. I pointed out that at least we'd have a plan and be working as a team to help Micah instead of punishing him for lack of motivation, apathy and outburst which are all not really Micah but symptoms of his diagnoses. Of course I think he should be punished for bad behavior but I also think the teachers could see this behavior escalating and sent him for a time out or to the counselor to talk it out, preventing the anger from escalating to this outburst.

I know that this stress is disproportionately worse due to my own depression and that this cycle will head back up again but it's just really hard right now. It's also effecting my eating and exercise. Yoga makes me feel better but even that has been hard to stay motivated to get to.

Monthy Measurements

I've had a rough month when it comes to weight loss so we are going to celebrate the non-scale victories this update. I'm still at 279 but expect a big move to be coming. Since Halloween I allowed sugar back into my life and I can't break the cycle. I think when I eat something sweet it just spikes my blood sugar and when it comes back down I need more. In general I think I'm eating the same amounts just not always of the right foods. And I don't always stay full for 4 hours which has been easy in the past. I've had less motivation with the exercise also only did 17 out of my 23 for this month goal. But on to the positives.

I still lost inches 1 in hips, .5 in waist, 3 in my chest!!!, 1 in calf's and 1 in thighs. For a grand total of 8.5 this month. I was wearing a 4x-26/28 top now I can wear an 1x, or 14/16. I am snugly in size 20 jeans and comfortably in 22's.

Exercise..I could barely tie my shoes now I can stand on my hands and my head in yoga. I've been easily doing 90min athletic yoga workouts and looking forward to them. I took my friend Ron on Thanksgiving and he was sweating buckets by the end and he runs 6 miles at a time and is in the shape of his life.

Mental Health...I've been doing biweekly counseling sessions which are helping me deal with the non-food issues of this weight loss. I started a new antidepressant today that I hope will give me more motivation and energy instead of the numbness I felt on the old one. I've successfully weaned off of Lexapro that I've taken for almost 3 years, without any melt downs yet.

I can finally see a major difference in my before and after pictures.

My Dr. gave me a little fill and a lot of encouragement last week. Reminding me that I will need more support through January since food is all around. I'm back to every two week appts. for now.