Kunda-WHAT?!?

I headed out to my regular Saturday free Yoga class at the Edge this am. I like it because there are usually a lot of new people. It boosts my self esteem to know where we are going next. Being an "advanced" student compared to the new yogis is great. Today we had a sample class of Kundalini yoga. I had seen the class on the schedule, heard about the teacher with turbans, but I had no clue what it was. I had read the description that had to do with clearing chakras and it sounded to new agey to me so I never went. So the teacher, we'll call her J in case she googles Kundalini and her name and finds this blog. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.

She greeted me at the door, great eye contact, firm handshake. Fully dressed in white plus a white turban head thingy. She was probably in her 60's. You know those people who really got into Macrame plant holders in the 70's or beanie babies in the 90's and just never got out of it. Yeah she was stuck. 60's India, I guess. We started on the floor and normal pose but then we were doing dragon breathing and pulling our sexual organs up towards our navels. Yes she actually said constrict your "rectum, your sexual organs up towards your navel". Then she had us hold our thumbs up, stick out our tongues and pant like a puppy. I held the laughter in, but I thought this has to be a joke...where's the camera. But I really lost it when she had us do a spinal massage back and forth on the mat. She said "that's it, rock and roll, dance with your soul." The last straw was when she said I want you to do what Roger does and I'm going to talk you through it. Lay on your mat, do you feel it your like little popcorn heating up in oil. Move on your mat....move all your limbs, bounce all around. It looked ridiculous.

So I didn't sweat but I had a really good laugh. That's it dance with your soul.....